Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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