I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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