i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
