WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.