the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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