sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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