i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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