OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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