How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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