ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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