You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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