how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
