So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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