DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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