Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
