Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love having hate sex.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
