some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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