Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
