i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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