I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
