When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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