he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
