That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
