My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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