evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
