forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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