Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How does one acquire holy water?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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