Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
