my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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