NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he thought i was a dude.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
