nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
