I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
