coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
