He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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