i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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