There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Houston, we have a squirter
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
