the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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