you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
