Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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