He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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