I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
