did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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