Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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