So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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