okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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