exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
