If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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