I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
