sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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