We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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