Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
