I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
