i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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