I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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