My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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