Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
