You made me cry and you don't even care
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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