if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
