I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
